Entrust the Rest of My Life to You - Chapter 54 (4)
Chapter 54 (4)
Watching him handle a pair of scissors in leisure, I asked, “Has your temperament always been this good since you were young, or was it tempered by your parents?”
Gu Wei: “Take a guess?”
I took a once-over of him, from top to bottom. “Did you believe that the world is harmonious and that all beings are beautiful ever since you were young?”
Gu Wei: “I’m not that presumptuous. I do have a wonderful time at work. Would that still necessitate having a bad temper?”
Engraved in their bones were men’s dreams of becoming heroes, hoping to have a chance to make their ambitions a reality. So it is inevitable that they were often a bit frustrated and irritable about the bland reality.
There was a senior brother of mine, who was very popular when he was in school. He was full of spirits, with a beautiful girlfriend by his side, being a target of envy for everyone.
After graduating, he was hired into a very good joint venture, and his girlfriend was also admitted to a good firm. Everyone thought that this golden couple’s future would be smooth-sailing. However, two days ago, that senior brother returned to school. He was very depressed. He sighed, “What sort of a world is this?!”
His boss always looked for trouble, and his future ambitions were bleak. At the lowest point of his life, when he was just fired, his girlfriend cheated on him.
The senior sighed, “No matter how deep the affection is, it cannot match with a sports car and a grand villa, no matter how strong the trust is, in the end, it cannot match with a gilded rubbish born with a silver spoon in their mouth.”
Me: “In the end, he even burst into tears and cried out that the so-called ambitions he chased were all in vain. He was now a 27 year old with both his career and lover, all lost.”
Gu Wei put the scissors away by then, and while washing his hands, he said, “Tell him that he will get them back when he reaches 30.”
Gu Wei: “In the face of reality, you can have ideals, but you can’t have illusions. No one can reach the sky in one giant leap. You should work hard and attain progress step by step. That is the meaning of life.”
You will eventually get what you pay for. This is why Gu Wei could face any situation without losing his composure.
I touched his face, “Doctor, you are so perfect.” Then I paused for a while in contemplation and said, “Could it be that I was the clumsy pig who stole the fruits of your thirty years of revolutionary progression?”
The reason I put forward this question was that, without hitting any lows or facing difficulties in life, I unexpectedly bagged such a perfect man.
Gu Wei: “It’s okay, you belong to the high rate of return category, so don’t worry.” 1MG: Means she is a worthy investment since she’s the double the times perfect to his eyes lol (￣y▽￣)╭
I have always dressed moderately, and my dresses have always been plain in color. This would often lead to me getting scolded many times by San-san: “Can you dress a little brighter? Right now, you’re dressed like a monk!”
Once, San-san and I took a walk down the road. She looked at the fashionable girls all over the street, and then looked back at me, who was dressed as a nun, with the face of a plain Jane, and asked suspiciously: “Why would Gu Wei like you?”
Me: “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.”
One day, I hung around the doctor’s neck with my arm and asked him, “Gu Wei, do I usually dress too plainly?” At that time I was about to attend a banquet with him and was wearing a sleeveless dress.
Gu Wei’s ears blushed red: “Occasionally, it’s good to give me a surprise. But if there are too many surprises, my heart won’t be able to take it.”
Gu Wei’s clothes are mostly plain black and grey, which leads to the fact that no matter what we wear, others would see it as “Eh? Couple clothes!”
In the beginning, I tried to explain this “coincidence”, but later on, I didn’t bother to explain it anymore.
“Ah, couple clothes again?”
Gu Wei: “Yes, we wear matching clothes every day.”
I think Gu Wei is pretty good in all aspects, but—
Chen Cong: “Gu Wei’s way of self-expression is rather embarrassing. Only he can keep a straight face while saying that.”
Me: “I know.”
Head Nurse: “This young man (Gu Wei) is upright, but sometimes, he is too upright.”
Me: “Ah…” You didn’t see him twisting like an eel at home.
Zhang Wei: “Don’t worry, this kid (Gu Wei) is cold… but well-behaved.”
Who told you Gu Wei was cold?
Gu Wei thinks I’m pretty good in all aspects, but—
Xiao Cao: “Although A’ Xiao (Lin Zhixiao) is decisive, being so cold towards your spouse can freeze people to death.”
Gu Wei: “Decisive…?”
Passerby: “Don’t you think Lin Zhixiao is boring?”
Gu Wei: “No. Being too loud is unsightly.” 2MG: As in a loud, vibrant personality if that makes any sense.
San-san: “Hey, she is a blockhead herself, she has been counting stones in the name of whiling time her entire life .”
Gu Wei: “Very good, no one will grab her from me.” 3MG: You seem to be the one who has a love for collecting stones, Mr. Gu! ☜(ﾟヮﾟ☜)
Therefore, when standing side by side, people couldn’t help but sigh that we really were compatible with each other.
Holding each other’s hands for a lifetime.
For a while, neither I nor San-san was in a good situation. She was back on track at work, but quite lonely. My love affair was growing by leaps and bound with increasing clarity by the day, but the experiments at work seemed to be hitting a wall everywhere.
Once, our paths stumbled as I emerged from the supermarket with a bag of groceries. So San-san and I went back to the doctor’s apartment together. She was silent for a long time while holding the teacup, and the first sentence that left her lips was: “Xiao Xiao, do you plan to stay in City X?”
San-san: “I want to go back to City Y.”
I was a little surprised. No matter within the circle of classmates or among the circle of mutual friends, San-san’s work was enviable. She was working in the major that she liked the most, and had good prospects. She could deal with her work with ease irrespective of the pressures that entailed, thus her job definitely wasn’t the reason she was planning to leave.
San-san: “A lot of times, I feel that I don’t really belong in this city. My mind is often blank as I walk down the road after work every day. All I do when I go back to my apartment is to take a bite, go online, take a shower, and sleep. Then the next day, the cycle repeats. It almost feels as if I’m no different from a well-oiled machine. So what if the job is going quite well? If I don’t have a home of my own to return to in this city, what’s the point of continuing to stay here?”
Many of my classmates, especially females, seem to be like this. When they graduate, they try their best to stay in City X with excellent grades. A few years later, they quit their jobs to everyone’s surprise, and return to get married and have children in their hometown.
When one is young, it’s easy to fall into a trap of thought, that since there are no other mouths to feed or cater to in the family, the life of a single dog – making money to spend it on themselves – is very easy to live. However, as they grow older, many find that family and marriage have always been an unspeakable temptation for women.
San-san: “If you were me, would you go back?”
I replied, “I can’t make this assumption. I have already met Gu Wei.”
San-san: “Even if you have to do accounting in the future?”
I thought for a while, “Even if I don’t work in the profession I like, I will still stay in City X.”
Staying with Gu Wei seemed to be an irresistible instinct. Father, brother, teacher, friend, lover, partner, son… This man has played all the male roles that I can think of in my life. I can hardly imagine myself being separated from him.
San-san smiled: “You didn’t like City X so much before.”
When I was a child, I would be sent with Xiao Ren every summer vacation to visit my grandparents in X City, as well as accepting the influence of my elder brother. As young children, we couldn’t stand for ourselves, and whenever we faced serious elders, we were always nervous to accept their criticisms. Every time I wandered around hand in hand with Xiao Ren, every time we walked the wrong way and asked for the way home while pretending to be calm, every time we passed through traffic and crowds and I was pulled along with Xiao Ren like a pack of chicks and hens, I would think, “Next year, let’s never come to City X again.”
“But Gu Wei is here!” Because he is here, that’s all the reason I needed to stay.
San-san sighed, “Girl, why are you such a cute little fool?”
After sending San-san away, I was left standing alone by the door in a daze.
With a click, the bathroom door opened, and Gu Wei walked out. His hair was still wet, and he walked towards me, only to reach out and pull me into his arms.
I didn’t ask him why he was at home, what he heard and how much he had heard. I just hugged his waist and whispered “Gu Wei” softly.
Sometimes, all the purpose in the world beats the grasp of a single warm hand. The feelings between us, this hand I hold… I’ll never let go in this lifetime, even after time crosses eternity.
As far as Mr. Gu is concerned, the apartment is no different from a hotel. His profession necessitated him to wake up to toil away for long hours and going back after that was done simply to go to sleep. Thus, it was of no surprise that the mattress, its sole function being defeated, was as comfortable as the day it was bought. Thus, when he goes to work on weekends, I would often use his apartment as a place to catch up on sleep, hog the bed, and sleep until dark.
Gu Wei said to me, “I stood at the bottom of the building, the lights were dark, I was thinking ‘Ah, there’s no one waiting for me anyway’, but I came up to open the door and found you sleeping under the covers. I was so tempted to wake you up.”
Gu Wei: “I used to think that my apartment was just a house, but now it feels like home.”
He always likes to be romantic when I am sleepy and professes cryptic verses of love. Why? For one, I had no resistance to his words when I’m drowsy, and the other being that I would subconsciously play his words on repeat in my mind and embarrass myself further for the remainder of the day.
As there was no harassment during the whole process of sleep and the environment was so beautiful, I often fell asleep and slept a little kitten too soon.
Once I woke up late, Gu Wei had already returned. He sat next to me playing with my hair.
I looked at him dazedly.
Gu Wei laughed and pulled me up. A book, “World Movie Journey”, slipped onto the bed.
He asked, “Have you ever seen the movie, ‘What’s Eating Gilbert Grape’?”
I nodded hesitantly, having only a vague impression of old movies.
Gu Wei: “The heroine’s name is Becky. Wherever she is, Gilbert’s peace is there.” 4MG: For those who watched the anime, Special A, doesn’t it remind you of *that* scene? “Would you accompany me to the ends of heaven and hell?” – “As long as I’m with you, I’ll be happy.” *wipes tears*
At that time, I didn’t fully understand how much he cherished me – Then I reviewed the whole movie: Every day, back and forth, trivial housework, calm troubles, simple and cost-free happiness, these are part of real life. Sure, a person might find it easy to live alone, but once life eventually sets you to collide paths with that special someone, it becomes all the more joyful of a path to walk together.
When I went to the hospital one day, I happened to stumble across Gu Wei sorting out the work diary. He took a photo from the front page of the old diary and put it in the new one.
It was a barbecue organized by their department. I was sitting on a blanket on a large lawn. His head lay on my leg as he raised his arm and showed me a photo from his camera with a cheerful expression.
It was a sunny April day, his eyes looked so vibrant, dazzling to the soul.
I don’t know who captured this photo.
On the back was Gu Wei’s handwriting, “2010.04 Xiao Xiao”, followed by a serious comma, but nothing else was written after it.
I am not a very tender person, and even when I feel tender, I still retain my cold demeanor in others’ perspectives. Usually, I don’t face much emotional fluctuation, and even if there is some, others will not be able to detect it. Also, I am very forgetful. Even if I was quite moved by something, the impact wouldn’t last beyond a couple of days. My mother said I was not the least bit empathetic and cared for nothing. But I never found anything wrong with being able to let go of emotions so easily. In fact, along with experiencing happy things, it meant that the angel of forgetfulness kept all sorrow at bay, so sometimes, it helps make life easier.
Passerby Jia often said that ‘Lin Zhixiao could maintain a stable conversation about official affairs, but had no flair in discussing matters of the heart’. She says I’m a great colleague, but to be my lover could suffocate people alive. So sometimes I can’t help but wonder how Gu Wei could stand my character, and treat me so well all these years since we first met.
He only said, “Do we bore each other? In fact, I find it wonderful to spend time with her.”
Once, we went on a trip with friends to the hot springs during peak season. There were people in the pools along the way, but there was one that was very deserted. The guide said that it was a mountain spring pool, one that was only used for viewing.
I approached the spring and took a deep look into the water. The water was very clear and cold, and a large natural stone was placed in the center of the pool. I don’t know why, but it reminded me of Gu Wei. His character is really like a mountain spring.
He looks gentle and clean and a little cold, but when you let him hold you in his arms, he will become unspeakably warm and happy. So nestling in Gu Wei’s arms, just like how the stone nestled in the mountain spring for a lifetime, might be the best form of happiness.