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- Chapter 41 - I'll take care of you (3)
Chapter 22.3
I’ll Take Care of You
💖
Due to the cold winter weather, there were only a few people in the park. Cheng Jingbo bought them each a cup of hot coffee before they found a bench and sat down.
“Are you in a better mood now?” he asked.
“Yes.”
“It’s common for children to bump into things,” he said. “You don’t need to blame yourself. As for your mother’s attitude towards you, I don’t think that was right.”
She wrapped her hands around her hot cup as she gave a gentle shrug of her shoulders.
“She should treat her children fairly,” he pressed on.
“I’ve grown up. She’s stopped treating me like a child.”
“You’re only twenty-three. To me, you’re no different from a big child.”
“You’re only twenty-eight,” she shot back, insinuating he wasn’t that old himself.
“Thank you for reminding me. I might have otherwise been under the illusion that I have lived for a long time.”
“…..”
They sat in silence for a moment before he finally said, “Why don’t you try to communicate with your mother?”
“I don’t know how this happened,” said Bo Ziren. “She used to cry alone after the divorce. Life was a heavy burden for her at the time because she worked overtime every day. Then when she would come back home, I would be asleep. I barely got to see her face to face. Over time we had fewer and fewer things to say to each other.”
“Where are your grandma and grandpa?” he asked.
“Mom and dad eloped to this city. They don’t have a good relationship with their hometown. I’ve never seen my grandparents.”
“Did they separate because of a broken relationship?”
Bo Ziren leaned back slightly in her seat.
“Dad is an artist and would often stay out drinking. When he’d get home, he would shut himself up in his room and sometimes wouldn’t come out for up to two days. Mom would feel snubbed from this behavior.”
She paused for a moment.
“Plus, dad’s personality is like that of a child. When he earned money from selling his art, he would be thrilled and buy us many gifts. But when he couldn’t, his mood would turn extremely gloomy, and he would become quiet and withdrawn. He would even refuse the meals mom cooked for him.”
She paused again, this time letting the silence stretch on for a minute.
“Then what happened? he asked, trying to prompt her to continue.
Bo Ziren’s face looked troubled.
“Tell me only if you want to,” he added gently.
Bo Ziren nodded and took a steadying breath.
“One time, they quarrelled, and Dad accidentally hit her. Mom cried for a long time and said she didn’t want to live like this anymore. Dad broke the door in anger and left. It was two months before I saw him again. He sent us many gifts during this time, but it didn’t help change Mom’s decision. She was still unhappy.
“Then Dad suggested we move to Japan for a change. To start anew. Mom didn’t like the idea and didn’t believe that he would make money in Japan. In the end, they could not come to an agreement, and the only choice left was for them to separate.”
Her eyes took on a distant, faraway look.
“Dad wanted to take me away after the divorce, but Mom was against it. She told me he had a serious mental illness and that I would be hurt if I followed him. Mom didn’t have a job when dad left, and we had to live off savings for a while. It was fortunate when she met Uncle Mu. He is a very good person.”
She sighed.
“But Uncle Mu’s family doesn’t like me, and they’ve refused to allow me to visit their home. Mom has no choice but to leave me behind after the holidays.
“Mom also really wanted to give Uncle Mu a child, but she wasn’t in good health at the time. She saw a lot of doctors, and they prescribed her many medications. The ordeal caused her a lot of stress, and she could barely sleep at night. It took five years before she became miraculously pregnant with twins. No one saw it coming.
“That’s why I understand why she likes Dong Dong and Bei Bei so much. It’s easier for her to be happy now.”
As the last sentence escaped her lips, Bo Ziren paused in slight surprise. She hadn’t realized she would say so much. This was a very unprecedented situation.
“You haven’t said how you feel, though,” he prodded gently. “Have you been happy all these years?” His gaze was steady as he watched her face.
“I don’t know…I never gave much thought to my happiness. I just decided to rely on myself and try not to burden her anymore. She’s already had a hard time.”
“Do you see yourself as a burden?”
Bo Ziren slowly raised her head to look up at the night sky. Her voice carried a shift in tone that seemed beyond her years.
“No one wants to view me as such, but objectively speaking, after the divorce, I indeed became a burden. She must still carry a sense of responsibility towards me, but there is not much she can do emotionally.”
Bo Ziren was always able to analyze herself lucidly. She never felt inclined to give herself any mercy, as if pity was a futile concept.
Cheng Jingbo felt a change in her demeanor as if she had experienced both life and death and therefore was not easily affected by something outside her heart.
Her words made him feel sad.
He felt upset, but it was more than that.
Bo Ziren was looking up at the sky again, gazing at a star in the distance. A cold chill caressed her face, and she felt a shiver travel up her spine.
In the same instant, a warm feeling enveloped the back of her hand.
She slowly lowered her head back down and was met with his hand completely covering her own. His palm closed around her fingers tightly.
“Don’t say you’re a burden ever again, or I will become unhappy,” he said, his voice almost imperceptible.
She recalled all of a sudden that he had once told her not to take him lightly. He probably really didn’t like it when people did not portray sympathy towards themselves.
She nodded mutely.
“You don’t need anyone else anymore,” he continued. “I’ll take care of you.”
For a moment, Bo Ziren thought she must have heard wrong. She lifted her head up fast, and their eyes met, catching her off guard.
A faint smell of vanilla wafted over from him as she stared into his eyes. They stared back at her, reflecting the quiet depth of the night around them, and she felt transfixed as the drone of insects filled the air.
She wasn’t sure how long they both stayed like that until his voice finally cut the sudden stretch of silence.
“What? Do you think I can’t do it?”