Chapter 55.4 – A Domineering Couple (3)
Xiao Zhongyi had a husky. Apparently it used to have an English name, Philip, but because of his work commitments, the dog spent more time back at the pet shop in daycare than at home. Xiao Zhongyi wasn’t the type to lavish attention on a pet either, and so, beyond responding to its name, Philip didn’t interact particularly warmly with its master.
Eventually, the dog ended up with Sansan. They say a dog resembles its owner; since we took Philip home it had become wild and excitable, less and less like the elegant and noble dog we had once thought it to be.
The first time I saw Philip, it was barely recognisable as a husky. From behind, it looked like a fat polar bear. This was a problem.
“Lao Xiao,” I asked, “What exactly do you feed him?”
His response was simply: “Dog food.”
“From which brand? It doesn’t have any additives or hormones, right?” The dog really was so rotund.
“The dog food is fine, it’s Xiao Shan who’s the problem. She sets out food six times a day, so the dog eats six meals a day, and that’s not even counting the extra things she feeds it in between.”
I turned to Sansan. “Sansan, what do you think he is, a pig?”
“Hehehe,” Sansan grinned. “I’m fattening him up to kill him and eat him.”
Xiao Zhongyi was the only one who could control her.
Having been successfully fattened up by Sansan, the dog’s name was changed to Ferrero.
To Ferrero, the one with the food was the one in charge, and so it quickly accepted its new name.
Lao Xiao was horrified. “He had a perfectly good name before! Change it back!”
Sansan: “No way. How could he be happy with a human name?!”
Lao Xiao: “So you named him after chocolate?”
Sansan: “Well, he’s a good-for-nothing who does nothing but eat, so I think it’s a name quite revealing of his nature.”
From that day on, whenever Lao Xiao took Ferrero out for a walk, he never called it by name, only “hey”.
***
A White-Clad Angel & White-Robed Army
Cheng Yu’s aunt really liked girls, but she herself gave birth to a boy, so she lavished her with what seemed like half of her maternal affection and tried to set her up when she was older. Since Xiao Yu entered college, she constantly plied her with questions: “Xiao Yu, what kind of person do you like? Tell Auntie, Auntie will find you someone you’re satisfied with.”
And so, by the age of twenty, Xiao Yu had already been on no fewer than five blind dates.
Where other people lamented not being able to find a good man, or find a man for that matter, Xiao Yu’s problem was more along the lines of: “What kind of good man should I be looking for?”
Once, while we were eating lunch in the cafeteria, Xiao Yu asked, “What kind of person would be steadfast and reliable?”
While everyone was giving suggestions, Gu Wei said casually: “Someone who studies geology.”
It was as if he had offered her a revelation. “Oh that’s right! A geology student would be someone down-to-earth and reliable!” And so she told her aunt she was looking for someone who studies geology.
Later, she found a geography teacher.
***
Having been dragged by Gu Wei to his college reunion, we stood around with the group, having an outdoor barbecue. Unlike the other couples who always stuck together, we split the work between us, one to prepare the skewers and one to man the grill.
“Xiaoxiao, add one chicken wing to the skewer.”
“Gu Wei, roast the corn a bit longer.”
Soon, it was our grill that everyone came to for something to eat, because our stove was the one that yielded food the fastest. Gu Wei set aside a few skewers, and let the others have the rest.
We sat side by side to eat, and one of his classmates – let’s call him Classmate A – came up to us with a skewer of something strangely-shaped and oddly-coloured. He sat next to me and said, in a tone more familiar than usual, “Xiaoxiao-ah…….”
Gu Wei immediately stood up and pulled me to the other side of him.
Classmate A: “Gu Wei, what are you doing?”
Gu Wei: “Protecting her from fire, theft, and from my senior in school.”
Classmate A: “I’m here to deliver skewers to Xiaoxiao!”
Gu Wei: “Are you sure the things you’re holding are even edible?”
Classmate A, indignant: “Why wouldn’t they be? I roasted them myself!”
Gu Wei: “Then you can eat them yourself. She only eats the normal food I’ve made. Also, you can call her Lin Zhixiao.”
I said nothing throughout this exchange.
Classmate A walked to his wife. “Gu Wei glared at me too hard, I couldn’t get a word in edgewise!”
After the barbecue, the men cleaned the grill, and the women went to wash the fruit together.
Mrs. A asked casually, “What’s Gu Wei’s salary like?”
I answered honestly. “I don’t know.”
She was shocked. “You never asked?”
I thought about it for a moment. “Well, he won’t starve me to death.”
When she returned to her husband, Mrs. A reported, “I really couldn’t get anything out of them.”
***
Gu Wei, as a student, earned peanuts. But for some reason, his friends and classmates were all curious about how much he made. Now this was understandable from doctors from different hospitals, or those not in the field, but even Chen Cong would ask him sometimes, “Gu Wei, Gu Wei, what money is there for you to make here?”
His reply: “The money in my dreams is there for the making.”
I looked at him suspiciously. “You don’t have a third job, do you?”
His response was: “Aren’t you my third job?”
Chen Cong once approached me while Gu Wei was a away and asked, “Sister-in-law, how much do you make?”
I thought about it. “Two.”
Chen Cong pointed at me in mock frustration. “You you you…! You and Gu Wei really are the same kind of person!” Then he turned and left, defeated, muttering, “They are all bad people…”
I had nothing to say to that.